Yesterday was a bit of a spiritual flop, but today has been so enriching, so blessing! The Lord has opened his word to me and it is refreshing! I meditated on Ps 49 (perhaps my thoughts will come later) and then I thought about what I was going to write. I decided that those thoughts and insights were given to me by the Lord and that I should ask him what he would like me to write. But why do I do this? Why do I give millions of people access to my personal, physical and spiritual life? Is it for my own glory or for the glory of the One who is working in me?Then it hit me. 2009 was a dark spiritual year. 2010 seems to be gaining momentum and I rejoice in God's grace. I've asked God the question, "Why?" so many times and I've never gotten an answer. I've thought hard about my role in my fall and what I did and how I can change, but I've never gotten an answer to the purpose behind it. I asked the rhetorical question on day one: is being made aware of my sin growth?
I am here to answer that today: Yes.
Why did God tear me down for an entire year only to build me back up?
Answer? For His Glory alone. When I gained victory in the past, who did I attribute that victory to? Did I do it in my own strength? Who did I give glory to? Now that I have been torn down to see exactly what kind of person I am and how the only way I gain any victory over sin in this life is through the Holy Spirit, to whom will attribute praise? I cannot praise myself for I know what kind of creature I am. I know what I am like apart from the grace of God.
Perhaps now that I am gaining some ground in my walk with Christ, I can attribute it all to him. Its all grace.
I pray that as I continue to post on this blog and continue to share my experiences that no one will think I do this to toot my own horn. I do this to encourage others and to glean new thoughts for myself. Journaling is a spiritual discipline that allows the Christian to go back and look at what God has brought them through, to remember what they've been taught and to gain new insight on old experiences. I have a private journal, but the main thoughts I'd like to share with you. Hopefully, I'll get my Ps 49 thoughts posted. Read it. Its not what you'd expect from a Psalm. It has the tone of Ecclesiastes. Meditate on it and I'd love to hear your thoughts on it as I prepare my own.
Physically: This is going to sound off, but I went and had a colonic irrigation yesterday. Let me tell you, it was an odd experience but soooo worth it. The entire lower half of my body is now free of what it couldn't get rid of! I'm going in today to finish the cleaning. I cannot explain the difference it has made and the general junk that I got rid of, some of it perhaps was very old and blocking my intestinal track for awhile!
I have the general sense of myself back. I "feel" good. I have energy but my muscles are weak. Taking a shower this morning required me to sit on the toilet afterward and rest, then move into my bedroom and lay down for 10 minutes. I am going to try to at least make it through the 2nd week without juices, but honestly - if this fatigue keeps up, I'll have to switch to juices. I'm thinking mainly tomato and carrot juice. They are high in vitamins and minerals and yet low on calories. The fruit juices will give my body too many calories to work with and I want my body to continue through my fat layers and detox those.
I had a detox cycle last night that made me toss and turn. Mainly I had to curl up in a ball on one side and fall back asleep then turn over and do the same. It wasn't as bad as those I experienced during my 10 day fast.
All in all, though (besides water still upsetting my stomach) I feel better, I can breath better and I'm losing more weight. Praise the Lord! I'm hoping for an opportunity to let the colonic lady know that I'm a Christian. She talks, talks, talks so hopefully I can get a little of the gospel in.
One more thing: I am amazed at how God created the body! He made everything related and if one thing isn't working right, other things don't work right. I praise him that he has allowed holistic remedies so that I don't have to simply treat the symptoms, I can get at the base of the problem! I'm not pushing for everyone in the world to be whole foods, holistic. No, I am encouraging all of North America to give up their fast food, processed diets and go back to the foods that God created. It has made a world of difference in my life and without the cravings for the processed foods, I ENJOY what God has created even more. I found out before this fast started that I am in love with tomatoes and blueberries! Who knew!
Hopefully more to come!
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