Ps 139: 13-18Verses 13-16 are pretty self explanatory. We are made by God in God's image. Verse 16 has me asking how God can possibly love me that much? Knowing everything I would be, all my sin and all my mistakes, he still loved me enough to create me - in his image no less! Its one thing to be created. Its certainly another thing to be made in God's image. That's value right there!
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wondering,
I know that full well.
15 My fame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes say my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
Here comes the more intellectual part of my mind, I left my emotions at the door as I approached these verses. What confuses me a little about this psalm is the connection between v. 16 and 17. So far, David has basically had clean breaks between the sections but with thoughts make sense, he is listing God's attributes. So why does he suddenly go into v. 17 like that? V 17 comes right after talking about creation, God ordaining my days. Is there a connection between God's ordination of my life and his thoughts? Is what he wrote down in the book his thoughts? It seems unlikely. His thoughts are more important than that!
Perhaps David is praising God for his revelations up to verse 17. The meaning between the two sections is escaping me.
Also, v 18? When I awake, I am still with you. What on earth is that about? David is praising God and telling him that God's thoughts are too numerous, they are innumerable. Then he says this. What relationship does this have to the number of God's thoughts or the preciousness of God's thoughts. Could he be saying that despite God's numerous thoughts, God is still with me when I wake? That would be another proof of God's love as the rest of the psalm meditates on.
I'm still fuzzing on those two joinings. Where is the connection? What does it mean? If there is a lack of connection, why?
The lack of connection wouldn't make much sense, would it? David praises God for his thoughts, makes a disjointed statement and then goes into harping on God's enemies. I understand the lack of connection between the first part of the psalm and the last verses. David does this all the time. Its a natural outworking of his praise to the Lord. Anyone got any thoughts? I'm about to go consult some commentaries on the psalm but I wanted to get my thoughts down first.
I did finally buy an A.W. Tozer book today. I bought The Pursuit of God. It seemed appropriate for what I was doing. The next Tozer book on my list is Knowledge of the Holy. One of my profs in Seminary, Bruce Ware said that it changed his life when he was 19. I'm sure it won't necessarily change my life, but I'm looking forward to reading it.
Day 13 is coming to a close and its been a rough one. I had a major irritability and anxiety cycle today. I'm sure that had to do with the fast. I talked it out to my roommate and was able to keep my commitment to my 30 days. I did, however, go buy some carrot juice. It seems to be the most helpful. 8oz has 700% of my daily beta-carotine which is turned into Vitamin A which then used as an antioxidant.
We are also having some drama at our church in which people are not behaving with Christian character and it really bothers me. How anyone can disrespect 2 pastors, 3 deacons and even more fellow church members like that is beyond me. Pray for our church. We need God's will to be done.
That's it for today. Till tomorrow! Day 14! Woot!
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