Loyalty

"Loyalty to Jesus Christ is the thing that we "stick-at" today.  We will be loyal to work, to service, to anything, but do not ask us to be loyal to Jesus Christ."  -- Oswald Chambers

This quote cuts at my heart.  At this time of the year, Christmas, I find it harder than ever to be loyal to my Lord.  I am never loyal.  I am always skiddish about telling people that I'm a Christian, that I attended Seminary, that I am called to be a missionary.  I am called, but I am not one.  I cower at what others will think of me when I explain that I believe Christianity to be the only way and I want to go into the world to share with others.  How narrow minded is that according to the world?
Oh what a wretch I am!  How I have failed my Lord day in and day out.  I cannot even speak to a new co-worker about being a Christian for fear that she will think that I want to convert her.  I do.  I want so much for all my co-workers to be blessed with knowing Jesus and the hope and purpose that comes with repentance  I must love them enough to talk to them about it.  I am so hung up on what I want to be doing.  I don't want to be uncomfortable.  I don't want to come to God after I sin and be rebuked as I know I should. 
And yet, I never am rebuked.  I am forgiven and urged to continue my commitment.  If I could only come to repentance instead of shame.  If I could only give up what makes me feel comfortable in order to gain what makes me free.  I'm stupid.  I am a sinner in desperate need of grace. 
Lord help me to be truly loyal.

Thanksgiving at Christmas

Praise the Lord for good friends who know you well enough to make you laugh. I had a friend say to me, "Well, then he's just a retard level 1" and it brightened my entire day! 
Praise the Lord that He takes care of me!  Even when I'm angry and want to push Him away because I just don't understand.

A New Cake!

This past Saturday I made a vegan spice cake for my friend Stephanie's personal wedding shower.  Since she loves corsets, as do I, I made her a corset cake.
Inside is Vegan Spice Cake
Icing is Vegan Creme Cheese decorated with Vegan Buttercream.
Enjoy!

Also, here is a picture of the cake cemetery I made for our Friday the 13th party in November.  Cake is Vegan Chocolate but the icing and Hersheys are store bought.  Sorry, can't be 100% all the time!  :)








And here's a fantastic picture of one of my favorite babies!!  She's got 2 teeth now and she's showing them off for the camera!

Offering of the Natural

As I continue to struggle with obedience and self-discipline in my Christian life, Oswald Chambers once again challenges me that nothing could be more beneficial for my life than to sacrifice it.

"Sanctification means more than deliverance from sin, it means the deliberate commitment of myself whom God has saved to God, and that I do not care what it costs...We go wrong because we  stubbornly refuse to discipline ourselves; physically, morally or mentally...You must discipline yourself now.  If you do not, you will ruin the whole of your personal life for God.  God is not with our natural life when we pamper it..."

"...and I do not care what it costs."  How I wish that were true.  I do care what it costs.  I sit and balk at the things I know I should do.  I whine because there is something unpleasant or I want to do something else.  I get angry and stomp my foot like a child because God will not give me the desires of my heart and will not allow me to continue in my sin.
I dread coming to the Lord sometimes when I have had a day of non-discipline.  I fear that the scripture will convict.  I cower at the thought of having to humble myself before the Lord and repent.  And so many times I do not repent.  So the pattern continues until I am so ashamed of myself that I stop going to God.  This is a dangerous pattern.
I must remember that I am under grace and there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.  Although I do not always live according to the commitment I have made, I know that I have a personal relationship with Christ and that the Spirit is in me.  So I must go to the Lord daily despite the fact that I may always do so on my face, always wondering if today is the day that I finally sin too much.
Praise be to the Lord that although I may feel that, it is never that way!  At this Christmas season, its easy for me to dismiss the holiday completely because of the familiarity of everything and the commercialization of Christmas.  But let me offer a challenge to you, reader, as well as to myself...let us rejoice and be glad that we have a Savior.  We are not stuck in the trenches of sin.  We have hope, a marvelous hope of true life.  Not the dingy, un-disciplined, self-absorbed lives of most sit-coms.  We have the opportunity of life, and life at its fullest.
I have to remember that to find my life, I must lose it.  That means not caring what it costs to accomplish what God has purposed for me before the world began.  I must not care that my abs hurt after a strenuous workout, I must not talk myself into McDonald's for dinner when I've had a day of eating well.  I must not let impurity and fantasy take over my thoughts.  I must be disciplined in all despite the pain.  If I must suffer as Christ suffered, then I shall suffer.  I shall do so with my eyes fixed on the Lord.  O Lord give me strength!
A little taste of our Christmas musical for you,

Your light has come.  Lift up your eyes!  God's glory shines upon the earth.  Let nations bow and kings arise, to proclaim Messiah's birth.  For a new day has begun. Your light, your light has come!

 I am grateful to the Lord this holiday season that I do not have to worry.  His light has come and I am no longer in darkness. 

Praise to the Lord the Almighty, the King of creation.  
O my soul, praise Him for He is thy health and salvation.  
All ye who hear, unto His temple draw near.  
Praise Him in glad adoration.

New Moon = Team Jacob! No spoilers!

New Moon is 100% better than Twilight was.  As a huge fan of the books, I must say that despite some glaring parts which caused most of the audience to laugh at the ridiculousness of it it - they nailed it.
1)  They stuck to the plot of the book.  There were a few things that didn't happen in the places they were supposed to, but given the time constraints and the fact that they basically followed the plot of the book exactly- they are forgivable. Again, 100% better than Twilight in this regard.
2) The spirit is of the characters is upheld much better than Twilight.  Bella still cannot act, but luckily for the audience she only has to be sad most of the movie.  She's never "happy" about being with Edward.  She's always restrained and dull.  With Jacob however, this dullness fades as their chemistry is fantastic.  Robert Pattinson does a better job this time around, he doesn't look like he's in pain all the time and we actually get to see some smiles.  He looks fantastically old and worn down when we see him after he learns "Bella is dead.".  Jacob is the best part of this entire movie.  If someone steals the show- its him.  He is exactly like I've always pictured him, smug looks when he hugs Bella in front of Edward and all!  He mannerisms are perfect, his smile is perfect, his hair is perfect, his acting is perfect!  Bravo!  Finally it seems that someone has read the books and is using them to their advantage!  The Volturi are amazing.  Aro is likable and yet hate-able.  I loved him!  They added some things in the Volturi scene (and one part where Edward's face cracks- totally crappy!) but it makes me look forward to seeing the vampires fight each other in Eclipse.
3) The special effects are phenomenal!  When Jacob and Paul are fighting in front of Bella - WOW!  The wolves are great!  I always pictured Jacob differently as a wolf, but as I recall the description of him, they were right.  The sparkling of vampire skin is better as well.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to actually picture outside of my mind what it looks like, but it was better.  The Volturi are amazing.  The effects of Edward fighting one of the guards is great, the speed is something I was never able to picture but now I can.  Once again, looking forward to the special effects of Edward and Victoria in Eclipse.  ( I LOVE Victoria's hair in this movie!)
4) THE ENDING IS PERFECT!!  I won't spoil it for those who haven't seen it, but for those who have - OH it made me shout in absolute pleasure and giggle like a junior high girl.  As a 28 yr old, I'm ashamed that I did that but it was great!

That's about it.  Like I said earlier, despite a couple scenes that were ridiculous, and the teenie-boppers who were "ooo"ing and "aah"ing every time Jacob takes his shirt off (which is great the first time, they schooled him well) the experience was a 100% in my book.  I adore the Twilight series and rave on Meyer's characters despite the sometimes hoaky dialogue and predictable plot sequences.  In general, I would recommend this movie to any Twilight fan and also to the ones who haven't read the books at all.  I took a friend with us who hadn't seen the first movie or read the books and other than being a little lost in regards to Edward's family and their gifts, she loved it, too!
BRAVO!  Finally - a  twilight movie we can be proud of.  BRING ON ECLIPSE JUNE 30, 2010!!!

NOTE: in other related Robert Pattinson news; there is a preview for his new film before New Moon and oh my gosh...it appears that he actually might be able to act!  I was curious to see it as I feel he has not grasped Edward's character.  Perhaps he might be able to grasp this one.  I'll let you know my thoughts later.

Why can't Kristen smile like this when she's happy with Edward in the movie?  What's up with the somber Bella?  That's not who she is!  Well, I'd love to see both Edward and Bella at least smile like this at their Wedding.  We'll see.  I must say I like short-haired Jacob better than his pre-wolf longer haired counterpart.  Looking forward to Eclipse.  I would go spend a full price ticket to see New Moon again.

Humility in Trials

Last night was the final installment of the humility series that the young adults are doing.  My brain was very much engaged in what was said last night so I offer you several thoughts on humility in trials.
1) Humility in prayer- start with God.  Habakkuk 3 was our text for the evening.  If you read the first three verses you'll notice that Habakkuk's prayer starts with what God has done in the past and then he entreats God to do so again.  I found that enlightening.
2) Move the focus from our suffering to our salvation.  If humility is seeing ourselves how God see us then perhaps we should see our trials as God sees them, as part of our salvation.  Its a simple concept of moving the focus off of man and placing it on God.
3) Apply to everyday actions.  It's the basic head -> heart --> hands.  Once again, the concepts are simple and revealing but the application is difficult.
I hope you are able to meditate on these truths as I have. Give Habakkuk a read, especially chapter 3 and think about the way in which Habakkuk demonstrates true humility.  I will be doing the same.

NOTE:  Another great devotional by Oswald Chambers this morning. Check it out!  My Utmost for His Highest.

Obedience: Winning into Freedom

Reading Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest has been a blessing every morning.  The language is a bit archaic given today's slang and there are few concepts that slip by me because of the language, but this man had a clear understanding of what Christ meant when he said, "take up thy cross daily and follow me."
This morning Chambers was reflecting on the Son setting us free in John 8:36 (So if the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. NIV).  He talked about our individuality.  I have always thought that individuality was a good thing, but he related it as a bad concept.  He instead uplifted Personality.  He said that individuality goes against God but that personality soaks up things.  This is one of those concepts lost on me because of language.  I feel that I have a grasp for what he says.  Chambers states:

"God pays no attention to our natural individuality in the development of our spiritual life. His plan runs right through our natural life. We must see to it that we aid and assist God, and not stand against Him by saying, "I can’t do that." God will not discipline us; we must discipline ourselves. God will not bring our "arguments . . . and every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 2:5)— we have to do it."

Discipline and obedience have been big issues in my life lately.  I find myself sitting on my bed and whining like a little child.  No wonder God gives me spiritual milk when I ask for more.  I am behaving like a child.  I did have a victory this morning in relation to bringing my thoughts into captivity.  It is small, but don't small deposits in the bank lead to a fortune in time?
Here's an online copy of My Utmost for His Highest